Procrastination Online gets hit

Procrastination Online is shamed on online blogs

After a Google search on procrastination, we have found several blogs who shame people into avoiding procrastination. Some even choose to list different ways in which people can 'break the habit'.

Although research is still ongoing, we will keep all the readers up to date on the latest scandal.

BBC to launch BBC1-1

A spokesperson for the BBC has announced today the introduction of two new digital channels, BBC1+1 and BBC1-1.

Many stations have already been running +1 versions of their channels (where the output is shifted by one hour later) but the Beeb is the first to announce the -1 version. The intention is that all output will appear one hour earlier than on the original BBC1 channel. When asked how this is made possible, the chief technical engineer said 'Secret'.

Although the news is welcome by many, there are some who are not as happy - for example, betting agents are furious at the prospect that the national lottery will be shown on BBC1-1 at 7.00pm whereas lottery tickets can be purchased up until 7.30pm.

The BBC are set to announce more channels this month, such as BBC2-1, BBC3-1 and BBC News 24-24.

Radius of hot chicks

Scientists at the University of Carnhill suggest the distance of a man to a woman directly affects the possibility of intercourse.




Dr. Grapmug at the University of Carnhill, Ireland compiled a 13 month report in which 2000 men were studied. The results suggest that the distance of men to women adversely affects the possibility of sex. He says:

The distance a man is to a woman adversely affects the possibility of sex between them.

The news comes as a shock to many teenage boys who, having signed up with the likes of Facebook and Bebo with the implied promise of having instant access to the possibility of 'making out' with many girls across the globe.

Since the introduction of the Internet (some would say the boom occured around 1994), people have attempted to find new ways for attempting to have sex with women. The market opened up for internet dating sites which left millions baffled at why this didn't solve the problem of men getting women.

The report put forward the theory of the 'Hot chick radius' which states that, no matter what distance the internet connects people over, a man will always have the 'Hot chick radius' around him.

An analogy would be FM radio. The man is the mast on top of the hill and the women would be the radios. The attraction of the women to the men are based on how good the music is as well as the clarity of the reception - if there is poor reception, the radio show has lost out. This reception can be affected by internal factors (the height, popularity and how good looking the tower is) as well as external factors (other stations in the area).

When asked if he was a real professor, Dr Grapmug failed to comment but at this publication, we are all very startled by the news and will be removing our Facebook profiles immediately.